Thoughts on a Sorrowful Week

This week my school lost someone very dear to us.  This loss was especially hard for the athletic department.  At most school’s the women’s basketball team manager would not be an integral part of the athletic department, but this is no ordinary school and this was no ordinary manager.

Her smile filled our training room with joy in the midst  of some painful situations.  This week I have cried many times.  I’ve cried about the smile I never truly appreciated and the thanks I forgot to give and the laugh that I won’t hear again.  But mostly I cried for the hurt that I felt, the hole felt by every athlete and many more on this campus.

What a joy it is to truly grieve the loss of another, to love someone so much that your heart aches to be with them.

I saw community in a way that can only be explained as the body of Christ, suffering and aching and longing together.  We are now walking in the legacy she left, and what a beautiful legacy it is.  She accomplished more in 19 years than many will ever think to do in a life time.  She embodied the grace that only a servant of Christ can.  I want to serve like she served and love like she loved, reminding those around me that it is our greatest joy to make Christ’s name known, whether throughout the nations, or in a training room with broken athletes.  Our hearts are hurting, but somewhere in between our tears are met with joy in the knowledge of heaven’s reward.  This week has truly been sorrowful, but the sorrow is worth knowing such an amazing young woman.

Here’s a little something I wrote the day after I found out this shattering news:

A Message For Kaylee

I imagine the complete terror that occurred when you wouldn’t wake up
But what they didn’t know is that you were already wide awake
I’m sure it took your eyes a second to adjust
To the wondrous light you’ve found yourself in,
Wrapped in a whirlwind of colours not meant for this world
I see you smile and laugh that joyous laugh of your’s
A laugh the world will desire long after you’re gone
And it’s like you’re a child again
Being drawn deeper in the love of boundless grace
Pulled by something beyond human comprehension
The beauty of both delicate snowfall and bright spring blossoms surround you.
And your eyes twinkle with what can only be described
As finally being where you belong.
Oh Lord how you snatch the brilliant,
Those magnificent stars you’ve have dropped on earth,
A mere stop on the road to eternity
And she now stands at the edge
Of a forever spent in adoration of the one true God.
Her smile just a memory,
Her laugh just a wish we now hold in silence
But you Lord
You fill our mouths with laughter
Our lips with words of love
That maybe, just maybe we might find a glimpse of her
In the shadow of your glory
And it is that glory that calls out
Welcome home my beloved!
Well done my good and faithful servant
For the world was not worthy of you.
And we weren’t
So we weep.
And count ourselves among the few
That were allowed to have our lives intersect,
If only for a second,
With a great carrier of your grace.
And that makes all the difference.

Romans 15:13–May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 73:26–My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.


-A World Changer


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