I’m Molting

/mōlt/

(of an animal) shed old feathers, hair, or skin, or an old shell, to make way for a new growth.

These past 6 months have not been the easiest. In late May the Lord revealed to me that I carry a great deal of insecurity and I live from that place. There he began a slow process of showing me all the places where I’ve made the insecurities my identity.

Since being here in Nica, he has highlighted things like belonging (or lack thereof), perfectionism, comparison, and ultimately just not knowing what it means to be a daughter.

But today, during my time with the Lord, it hit me: Maybe I’m molting.

Maybe the Lord is allowing me to shed the old shell of insecurity in order to put on the new shell of authority, boldness, and wisdom.

My field support said something to this extent–the Lord wants to increase our capacity for him. Maybe you are walking out of a season where your cup was overflowing, but the Lord wants give you a pitcher full of himself not a cup.

It’s likely that you will experience some emptiness and those things that once sustained you won’t anymore.

The Lord desires this, for us not just to experience him, but to experience greater depths of who him. Glory to glory. Grace to grace.

So I’m molting.

And although I try to contemplate the greatness of who he is and even what he’s doing, I feel like I’m trapped in the refining furnace.

When I believe I’ve got it or I understand more of the Lord’s heart for me, there’s almost always another thing he shows me that has to be broken in my heart. And it hurts.

He is constantly scaping off the impurities to make me the most pure form of myself.

But I know this furnace extends far beyond these three months here. I know it’s a journey filled with grace, the grace of a God that wants me to thrive.

In order to do that,  I must let go of my ideas of thriving and seek his. A crab that is molting doesn’t appear to be thriving. It is vulnerable and not the most glorious thing to look at, but molting means it is growing. Growth, the opposite of death, ultimately means thriving.

Amen to the God that sees me and calls me daughter.

Praise be to the God that sees my mess and calls it beautiful.

Grow me Lord, even if it hurts. Uproot lies Lord, even if I feel exposed. Guide me Lord, even if I can’t see where you are leading.

I trust you with my heart.

-A World Changer

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