Today

 

…I watched Netflix instead of digging into the word.

I took my bunny outside and made sure my plant got sunlight.

I went to buy chocolate…all the while, knowing what I really needed.

This morning, during the 5 o clock hr I answered a question: What is ONE hurt that you want to heal that was inflicted by another woman?

This question wasn’t so hard to answer, but what was harder was the bigger picture. I realized (and have been realizing) that my post-college life has turned into an assault on my worth. It’s seems the message I keep getting is “Haley, you’re not __________ enough.”

I’m sure you can fill in the blank with a variety of adjectives.

But the main thing is, I felt that I continually lacked, that I could not show my true self. I felt that the things I most valued, the passions burning in my heart were not adequate enough for affrimation. It seemed that they were often over-looked. As I’m writing this, I have a blank page in my journal titled 25 passions. It’s as if I’m afraid to sit with the Lord and chronicle the things that strike my heart. Maybe I just don’t know what’s waiting there anymore.

There are several pages in my journal with the words scrawled “I/You are enough.” Perhaps the greatest lie I’ve believed is that I am so lacking that every attempt I make will utterly fail.

And rooting myself in the truth of who I am takes time, its like turning over soil so new things can grow. I post this because today I heard “the little things don’t mean alot, they mean everything.”

The answer to this morning’s question was the smallest of moments, that left a major scar. Likewise, the moments that bring healing would maybe seem futile to the untrained eye.

I’m not perfect, I can think of several instances where I’ve failed in the little things. I apologize if those moments have hurt you.  Still friends, love in the little things. Love people. Speak truth. Affirm. Forgive. Restore. Mostly, enter in to each day with those around you. Hear them.  Know them. Love them. Make their little things a priority.

Say, “you are enough.”

By the grace of God, I am enough.

-A World Changer

2 Corinthians 5:21

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Advertisements

One response to “Today

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s