Excuse my frankness, but I find Christian women a little cliché.

I see your hand lettering journals, your flawless boomerang insta story of lavender latte art, and your unrelated biblical caption #LoveGodLovePeople.

And I’m not immune to the pull of cliche christian femininity in all of its #basic glory. I have fervent discussions about loose leaf tea, flash my gold card at Starbucks, and stand up in a restaurant to get the perfect aerial view photo of my mealtime fellowship with friends.

But I want to talk about a specific christian woman cliché that holds a surprising truth. I don’t know where the phrase came from, but Christian women all over the web are exclaiming “Find Your Tribe.” It’s usually coupled with a picture of smiling friends, a story of beach time or road trip shenanigans, and of course, latte art. But with these fanciful things we easily look over, we cannot forget to affirm that you need people. You need people to smile with you, share their hearts with you, and occasionally cry with you.

Since being back home in California, one of the hardest thing I’ve faced is a lack a good female friends.  Now I have amazing female friends, but God tends to scatter them around the country and world (literally world).  That means my coffee dates are relatively minimal these days and most of my community takes place via text. When it comes to most females I meet, I usually lose them at, “do you know who Karl Barth is?” or my exultation of the glories of micro-finance lending.  Now, hear me out, I don’t think you have to like the things I like to affirm me in those things.

Still, it’s hard for me to find people and places where people get me, for me.

So I was kind of surprised when God, dropped some friends right out of the sky, even though it’s been a continuous prayer in my heart. They aren’t what I expected, but they are what I needed. They’re what I needed because they see my logic and raise me spontaneity. They love me in the midst of my weaknesses, not despite them. They accept my food allergies and rejoice when I find something on the menu that I can eat! This is no small deal my friends.

I’m not writing this to bag on the basic Christian girl phenotype; I love latte art as much as the next girl. I’m telling you that there are women who are full of substance with maybe some basic sprinkled in–the people who laugh with you, dance with you, and  cry with you (when necessary).

They won’t be just like you, but you shouldn’t want them to be. You should want them to be the fiery, sassy, wonderfully unique women that God created them to be. Because if they are who they are, they give you the freedom to be who are, even if that means your free time reading is a 500 page chronological history of Christianity.

Your people will challenge you to not play small.


But, instead, they will invite you to be the brightest and most brilliant version of yourself. The imago dei within you doesn’t intimidate them. And your humanity doesn’t keep them from loving you.

Be yourself. #FindYourTribe




If you saw my homepage, you’d know that the image with this blog is #basic. What can I say? Ekklesia is my favorite greek word.


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